you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
