Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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