I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
