im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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