dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
