Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize