i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
