That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
