five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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