Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
