I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
organizing the empties. That sober.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
