Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
