i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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