Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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