You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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