somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
