It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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