I just pynch a tree in the face
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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