how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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