We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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