I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
