so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
