Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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