All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
