ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
