The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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