if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
