Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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