it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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