Welp...herpes.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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