so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is Oprah even human
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
