dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
