he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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