I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
