can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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