In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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