I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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