I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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