It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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