Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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