Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
zippers are such a cool invention
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
