never play flip cup with pint glasses
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
