I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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