So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
