im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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