We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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