I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
