we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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