I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
