its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just want to make out with him forever
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
