if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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