So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
