Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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