Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
