ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
