It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
