She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize