Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
