Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
