As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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