my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
