There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
