I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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