Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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